Pontiac Aztec: The Most Misunderstood and Wrongfully Slandered Car of Modern Times, and Maybe Even All Time.

So, I'm at a wedding this weekend, when the groom, Dwayne, asks me if it's possible for me to write a blog post that will somehow redeem his Pontiac Aztec.  I chuckled at first, but the more I thought, the more I realized that the Pontiac Aztec was an awful lot like sharks, snakes, and the music of Andrew W.K.  It's quite easy to get the wrong first impression from these things, but once you really get to know them and understand them, you soften a bit.  What was at first a scary animal becomes a very elegant, well-designed, and helpful creature.   What was once a juvenile song about partying 'til you puke suddenly becomes an elegy for forgotten youth and carefree days of the past.  Such is the Pontiac Aztec.

I don't think I've ever read a book about bad cars or seen a "top ten worst cars ever" list without mention of the Aztec.  It has become a target of mass hysteria when it comes to criticism of it's styling, which I admit is not what I'd call ideal.   However, if you can imagine it with slightly less black plastic cladding, a more rounded rear roof line, and a single front end rather than the unique, double-decker front, you have something like this:

BMW X6

Which, in my opinion, is not only uglier, but costs more than twice as much.

But I digress.   Back to the Aztec, it offered V6 power standard, and could be optioned with all-wheel drive and a number of totally xtreme lifestyle accessories, my favorite of which is a tent:

This, friends, is a burly lumberjack of a minivan-based SUV.

New, they came with a back pack built into the back of the seat that could be removed and used, a plethora of optional bike/kayak/snowboard/surfboard racks, and a massively cavernous interior that could hold at least 20 small dogs behind the front seats.  Toss in a powered cooler option, and you've got a rolling party/campground that will seat five very comfortably when you're done fooling around.

Next time someone tells a "Pontiac Aztec=worst car ever" joke, consider the bumblebee, the shark, and defend the lowly creature from more undue harm.   Are there better cars?  Certainly.   Would I drive one?   Maybe if the zombie hoard is here and I need all-wheel-drive and a cavernous interior but decent gas mileage.  But for those who can look past the criticism of the styling and the styling itself, there is a pretty cool hauler here that forgoes convention and offers an interesting package for not much money on the used market.