If I were to rent a DeLorean time machine and travel back to tell myself at 18 years old, that by 30, I really wanted to own a new Cadillac, I would be severely beaten and laughed at by the younger version of myself. Young punk that he was. Which would cause a massive rift in the space-time continuum and effectively end the world in a paradox. So I wouldn't do that, but I think you get my point. Cadillacs were very, very lame for a long time. Nothing screamed "geezer" like a crest with a wreath and six ducks gently swimming on it.
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| Who knew that Henry Leland, The Geezer King, would still hold so much sway over his company into the early 2000's, well after his death in 1932. After selling Cadillac to GM in 1909, he also founded Lincoln. That's just how geezery he was. |
That's not to say that
nobody tried to make Cadillac cool again, but GM certainly wasn't having a go at it. A little known fact is that Tim Allen, of
Home Improvement fame, actually owned a company called Tim Allen Design (TAD), which did their best to make grandpa cars appealing to someone, say, in their mid forties. They only made one car, and gave up. GM just kept on pumping out those big, soft boats for the population of Florida, until one day, they noticed that old people eventually die. And dead people don't buy many Cadillacs.
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| Cadillac Catera |
So, in 1997, Cadillac did what any good GM division of the time would do if they needed a new model: They rebadged an existing car, in this case, the Opel Omega, as the Cadillac Catera. The result? They sold a few to the less than 60 crowd, and the cars died before their owners did. Maybe they were on to something with this idea.
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| 2006 CTS-V |
Then came the replacement to the Catera in 2003, the CTS. Not only was it rear-wheel drive, but it could be purchased with a manual transmission! Like a BMW or Mercedes, not so much like a Buick or Oldsmobile. Even more, it could be ordered in CTS-V trim, which got you a 400hp V-8 under the hood. Now, we're getting somewhere.
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| Let's see you grandpa's Caddy do this... |
In 2007, Cadillac released the new CTS, and it was really, really cool looking. When they released the CTS-V version in 2008, it was even more awesome. Now with 556 hp from a supercharged Corvette engine, it was a legitimate world-beater, and was the fastest production sedan in the world at the time of it's release. GM, for once, didn't rest on its laurels, and released a stunning coupe to accompany the sedan:
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| Your beloved grandmother wouldn't even know what to do with this. |
And, in a totally unexpected move that makes Cadillac officially cool, they release a CTS-V
Wagon. Oh no, they didn't!
Just imagine, you're heading to Home Depot to buy some home improvement supplies early on a Saturday morning, and when you get to the strip mall, they've got part of the parking lot roped off and are running SCCA (Sports Car Club of America) Auto-X out there. And you decide to enter, blow the doors, roof, and wheels off of a bunch of Porsches, Corvettes, and maybe even a BMW M3 or two, return to Home Depot, buy a new toilet and sink for your bathroom, load it in the huge cargo area, and drive it all home in a luxury car which also happens to be sports car and a pickup truck. And your wife, boss, parents (who also own a geezer Cadillac) and/or kids will have no idea just how much fun you are having, or just how exciting your life now is. And that, my friends, is why Cadillac is suddenly very, very cool
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